Abide by revenge
by HushSo
Summary: Revenge is a act of retribution.What can a person do for sake of love and revenge. Edward Cullen is about to find out in form of Bella Swan. Contains dark themes.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own twilight. No copyright infringement is intended.

So I revised this story and reposted. I posted my first story just as time pass but I figured if I am writing or creating it should at least not be rubbish. Though this might not be much better. But still I hope you like it.

Note: As this fic is not beta'd there may be typos. This story might get confusing. I wanted to potray bella as a psychologically unwell person. So her thoughts might be jumbled and not make sense, read her words carefully as they are base for coming chapters. After all this long note please go ahead with story.

_ "We will be together, forever"_

My forever was already destroyed

_"You are my life now"_

My life was already in ruins.

_"I can't damage your soul Bella" _

My soul was already damaged

_"You have my heart now" _

_You tore my heart out._

_"I will never hurt you"_

_But already you did hurt me. So much._

_Revenge was act of retribution. And I will perform that act. With pleasure._

_/_

_Run. Run Edward run. Because I have turned tables on you. You will become the prey instead of the predator. I will chase you. Hunt you down. We will play this game well. I will frolic around the edges and then suddenly attack you. Would you anticipate such thing, ever? You will play my game, wont you Edward? Yes, yes you will play it. In fact you are already playing it. I will hunt you like a good predator and you will run like a nice prey. I think I will let other Cullen's join too. They can also become my prey. But my love, my Edward you will be always be my first priority. After all its only you who I want._

_"She is catatonic ever since he left"_

_No, they are wrong. He didn't left. We just needed some space. Every good couple understands that they should give each other space to re evaluate their needs .That's what we are doing. He is not gone he is just giving me some space. Unfortunately he is a little far from my reach. Don't worry dad everything will be fine. Once I find him and take my revenge. And then we will be reunited again. But I am so sorry because I have to leave. But you understand my reasons. Yes, you do . You always did. You are a great father after all._

_"She__ is in trauma. Just stay with her and help her understand what happened" _

_No, no, no they are all wrong. Why don't they understand I don't need any help? I am not in any kind of trauma. I just want his arms around me as he declares his love for me softly into my ears. I just want to hear his soulful laughter ricochet in my ears, again. He will come and then he will tell everybody that I am absolutely fine. He will then add playfully that as usual I am being his silly Bella._

_"Where is he? Why is he not coming to see me?"_

_"Bella he is gone, he is not coming back"_

_"No, you all are wrong"_

_"Bella"_

_"You all are liars"_

_"Bella please listen to me" _

_"Liars, you just speak lies to me" _

_"Bella... ...please"_

_They just would leave me not alone. Always kept telling me, he was gone, he is not coming back, you should move on, blah, blah. I just ignored them, mostly. But at last and sadly I knew he was not coming back. Not coming back. Leaving me all alone. I don't want to be alone. Not anymore. I will find him and then we will be reunited and that's why I am here. But for now I have work to do._

_"You__ have to watch her carefully. In some cases like this patient can suffer from psychotic break which may cause her hallucinations about him. It's a very chance that patient can and will attempt suicide"._

_ "Kill him"- make him suffer for what he did to you, kill him. Take your revenge. _

_Love kills you. How appropriate. It was killing me and it will kill you too my dear Edward. How odd, they predicted right that I will plan and execute my own demise but the fools never predicted that I will bring another person in it. So Edward I will graciously plan and execute your demise. Isn't that just wonderful. Only our reunion will be wonderful than this._

_"After all these treatments your daughter is still not showing any signs of getting better, and assuming her past history, I don't think she will ever make any recovery. I am sorry Sir"._

_"My Bella is just fine; my daughter is going to be alright. She has to is my only child"_

_" I am sorry dad and I love you too but you couldn't change what happened, neither can I"_

_Ignorance is blissful. I ignored the fact that he is not coming back and they ignored the fact that I loved him too much to let go. While ignorance is blissful, it can also bring chaos, destruction. Ignorance not only brought my destruction, their destruction and last of all my sweetheart Edward it will bring you yours._

_"__What'__s__ your name ma'am?"_

_"Isabella"_

_"Your full name, please ma'am"_

_"...Ma'am"_

_"Uh, yeah, it's ummm... Swan. Isabella Swan."_

_My name is Isabella Swan and I am insane. That's what those idiots in white tell me. I changed so much for you my darling Edward. So, so, much. But I have to kill you and then kill myself. Now this the only way we will be together. You understand my reasons don't you. Yes, you do. You are after all so smart. But it's good you are not smart enough to figure out my game. Now that would just ruin my fun wouldn't it? If the player just knows what the result is going to be it will take away all the meaning of game. And we don't want that to happening Edward. Actually I don't want that happening and as for you I think you will really like to figure my game out. You were always such a curious boy._

_"Edward__, something is wrong with Bella"_

_"What do you mean?"_

_"Ever since you came back from volturi she..."_

_"She has been through a traumatising ordeal, give her a break"_

_"No, the emotions she is emitting they are not what a person will go through when they are just been through a experience like that, it's like she is showing repressed emotions,...of a past traumatising event"_

_Jasper, jasper, jasper... you are entirely too perspective for your own good. Yes my emotions sometimes got better of me. After the Volturi Disaster I couldn't afford to make any more mistakes. I suppressed my emotions and showed what was expected of me. I painted a picture of scared, guilty and dependent lamb for all of them. They believed, well most of them believed it but Jasper was being the annoying one. But he was wavering too and I know he was going to regret that uncertainty in future. But who cares, my work will be done till then. I will leave him to wallow in his self guilty. _

_"Edward is going to kill himself"_

_Without my help, well that was sad but at least my work will be done._

_"And you have to save him"_

_She was literally crazy if she expected me to save him. Entirely bonkers._

_"Yes, Alice I won't let him die. I love him" Or so you think._

_But that infuriating, meddling Alice saved him. And those idiot volturi they didn't kill him too. They definitely are not on my Christmas list anymore. I was just in time to see him sparkle like disco ball. And bam...Suddenly two white arms pulled him safety. Thank you Alice, you just increased my workload. Now it seems I had to become a vampire. After all Desperate times calls for desperate measures._

_"You...you...d...d...Don't wa...Want me"_

_Edward sadly was still hung up about me not becoming a vampire so I had to resort to stuttering and sobbing. And by the way it worked real nice. I was going to be certified sparkling vampire in few months._

_"__No Bella, sweetheart how could you think that, I love you so much". Your love for me Edward it's a curse as well as a blessing. _

_I knew it. Almost every Cullen wanted me to be a vampire. But I also knew it, that they will sorely regret this decision. In future. But I could care less, my agenda was complete. The sacrifices I made for our love, my sweetheart. But they will be rewarded in end. _

_"Where are you going"_

_"Forks Washington"_

_"But you are not well" _

_"I want to have a change and by the way Uncle Charlie will take care of me"._

_A/N: Constructive criticism is always welcome. Though I don't love flames much but as they help writer improve mistakes they are also heartily welcome. Also I think I should ask someone to be beta but still I am not sure about it. But if you are interested you can message me._


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I do not own twilight. No copyright infringement is intended.

A/N: This chapter will be jumbled but I wanted to be it like that way. Now please on with story. This story is not beta'd so there may be typos.

_"Blood...whose blood is this?"_

_"Get her off the body..."_

_"What are they talking about, why am I covered in blood"_

_"Ma'am I know it's hard for you, but you have let go"_

_"Let go? Let go of what? "_

_"Something or somebody is lying in my lap"_

_"I look down to see face, a familiar face which is cold and moving"_

_"Horror, cold horror seeps in my body"_

_"No, no, it's not possible, NOOO..."_

Edward coos in my ear that it is a nightmare, just some other nightmare. But in my head I scream at him. It is not a nightmare, but instead it's a memory, a haunting memory that I recall every day. This memory overpowers everything. It hurts too much to think about those gentle sighs, your sweet declaration of love in my ears, that laugh, the way sun used to hit your skin. Memories are all that I have left. But this haunting memory is now what fuels me, what makes me hell bent on revenge. This memory will become your nightmare Edward Cullen. Soon.

/

_"Isabella..."_

_"Yeah Mr. Anderson"_

_"You are missing our sessions"_

_"Ah, yeah I am kind of busy nowadays"_

_"Busy doing what?"_

_"You see I am finding somebody"_

_"Isabella if you are trying to find him, then..."_

_"I never said him, I said somebody. Somebody else"_

Week two of Curious Carlisle's psychiatry sessions. And suffice to say I hate them with passion. But according to him it's necessary. To help me cope up. Oh dear Edward you are trying to pick up the pieces of something you so brutally destroyed. But for my revenge's sake I will abide by your wishes for a little longer. After all you don't have much time left now Edward. Just wait a little longer my love; we are going to be together soon.

/

A wedding. A damn wedding is what you want Edward, huh? Oh just wait my dearie Edward, you want a wedding I will give you a wedding. This wedding is going to be the perfect setting. A perfect setting for a perfect revenge. And ironic too, only if you knew.

The shortie is here again, yip yapping in my ears. Her visions are blurring. She is worried. I am worried too. One slip and my plan for revenge will be destroyed. After coming this far I cannot take a risk. She senses something is wrong, and I tell her everything is fine. Well it is for me. She will not come between my plans this time. Did I mention I hate siblings?

_"Her recovery is almost impossible"_

_"With what happened to her in past ...I am sorry sir"_

I gave into in my insanity. But you understand, don't you? Your separation was too much. You must have known what boundaries I can cross for our love. This is the way we will be together but I only hope you will still love me after this. After all it was our love which evolved me into this monster. But I cant help is a monster too. Okay he isn't he a monster, just a sweet little veggie vampire. I will have fun.

/

"A vampire, he is a damn vampire"

"Now what the hell I am supposed to do"

Bella's emotion is spiralling out of control.

"Only I can harm myself Bella"

Wrong Edward, I will be the only one to harm you.

"He is gone Bella, gone forever"

Edward you have to do something. My visions are getting darker.

"Bella's psychological is getting worse Sir"

Being insane is better than being without you my love.

"Something is wrong with Bella Edward, really wrong."

For my love I will take my revenge.

Love, revenge, love, love, take your revenge Bella. Take it, take it.

Nooooo...Don't leave me. Don't.

"In my visions, somebody dies Edward."

/

"Its common Edward, she has gone through of lot of trauma these past few months." Oh Carlisle you have no idea. "It would be better if you give her sometime". Yeah, sometime to plan Edward's murder."Don't worry about her; I have consulted about this from a good friend of mine." Worry about your son not me idiot, after all its, he who is the hot target.

I wander and wander through the forest. They will find me eventually. But before that I have time. I think about everything, but as always I think the most about you. I wonder if I was like this all along. How did you fall in love with me a monster? My innocence stripped away, I was killer from beginning. It was suffocating, living this life was worse as everyday passed. And then you came. I didn't know how I functioned without you. I was alive, so much alive. And when you left me there was no reason left to live. I remember my mother whispering her love for me in her last moments. How she was sorry she couldn't save me. And I couldn't save you. I am thankful; if not for this revenge I would have been dead long ago. In some sick twisted reason I am thankful I have to reason to live, even if that reason is going to kill someone.

/

Only one day left for my wedding. Tomorrow is the day when I take my revenge. Again the blood will soak against the pure white of my dress. Fouling it. It's going to be the day when I will be in your arms again forever. And this time nothing will separate us.

"Edward, there is something with Bella"

"Not you too, Carlisle"

"I was talking to a psychologist about Bella's psychological condition"

"You are going to believe some human who has little knowledge over your vast experience?"

"It's not Bella condition which is troubling me but..."

"But what Carlisle?"

"It's rather who she is"

"Bella's real name is not Bella Swan instead its Bella Davis, and she is from Chicago"

Alice has been looking at me rather weirdly the whole afternoon. And it is not just Alice but rather whole Cullen family. Have they figured about my plan somehow? But I don't think it's possible. Or maybe it is. But I covered my trails nicely. Then what could have happened. A knife and a lighter is tucked in my dress. Today there will be no setbacks. Today no matter what I am going to take my revenge. After all I don't think I have strength to live anymore.

I am sliding down stairs in my white dress. Few moments and all this will be over and finally I can have my peace and give an end to this nightmare. But something is wrong, very wrong. Charlie isn't looking me in eye. He gives me guilty look as I descend down the stairs. Whole Cullen family is there. But they are not happy like they should be. Idiots. What the hell is happening?

And then I hear Rosalie's bitch voice "How are you Bella Davis"

I can't hear anything after that it's like I am being sucked into black hole. NOOOO...this can't be happening. I have to take my revenge. I have come too far. I will make him pay by his life. It's just a little setback which I will ignore. Yes, yes it doesn't matter. I slowly pull the knife from my dress, and then I stab myself in stomach. I guess that will do.

A/N: Doesn't make sense. I know. But answers are going come soon. Till then review and make me happy. And motivated. I need a beta and I don't know how you apply for a beta reader. So if you are beta reader you can message me or recommend somebody else. That would be really helpful.


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I don't own twilight.

Warning: The chapter will include some dark themes.

Blood, wet red blood and I are covered in it. Is it your blood my love, no it cannot be. Your blood dried a long time ago. And then there is so much pain, just like the pain when you left me. People are shouting, screaming and it's a sweet music to my ears. And I am cradled in arms of somebody. Yes, yes at last he is here, holding me. My revenge is going to be complete finally. Soon, my love soon. It's just a matter of seconds now. I slowly take my lighter out and then flick it, and it catches the fire on Edwards's coat. Now he and I will burn together. And then a peaceful forever with you. I am grinning and by the look on Edward's face it is a maniac grin I guess. But who cares I can feel the heat, and soon it will engulf us. There is mayhem all around me, guess they are trying to save us. My dress has caught fire too and I am not letting Edward go. I will not let go until fire consumes us whole until my revenge is completed. I am basking in glory of victory. And then I feel cold, cold water! Are the Cullen's trying to drown me.. And then cue the dramatic blackness.

"Bella, I want to cherish you, love you forever. You are my life now."

"Will you marry me?"

"Yes, yes. Absolutely yes."

There is a beeping sounds ala round me. BEEP, BEEP, BEEP. It's really annoying. So this is how after life is like. It isn't peaceful like I expected it to be. There is so much pain. It seems for I am entire century I am engulfed in darkness. There are voices all around me crying, whispering and shouting but never I hear your sweet voice. Was I somehow saved? I hope not. I want to be with you, and they should understand that but they don't know about it.

Finally I am brought out of darkness. I am in a room, a hospital room maybe. There are machines surrounding all around me. All trying to keep me alive. And Edward? Is he alive or dead? So much questions.

Sitting up seems impossible. I am weak and in pain. "Oh, Bella you are awake".

Yeah, thanks for telling me Carlisle. He flits around my bed, checking machines. According to him my injuries are a stab wound, second degree burns and totally psychotic brain. Well he doesn't quite say the last part but I know he is thinking about it. "Why did you do it Bella, why?"

I did many things Carlisle. I gave into my insanity, I loved and hated with passion, I killed somebody to save me and my mother, I couldn't save my mother, I became a shell of myself, I couldn't see my father in face and see his pain and guiltiness. But I don't tell him all this. I just watch him and let my tears run. I don't sob or make any noise; I just cry and let my tears flow.

My hands and chest are that took most of my injuries and some part of my legs. They say I was lucky that my face was not burned. I want to scream at them, I am not lucky and if I was none of this would have happened to me. Most of the time I spent seeing out of windows. Mostly every Cullen comes, and each of them has their own questions to ask. I don't get it; they now have most of the information about my life now. Not all, but most of it. Some days I try to push my oxygen mask off, or try to pull out some wire out of my body but all my tries are in vain. Somebody always stops them, so instead of giving them answers I just lay there like a lifeless rag doll.

Charlie came by a few times. But he knew that I wasn't going to come back, still I was thankful to him to support me so much. He knew that I had already left my father behind; sometimes the pain of looking in dad's face and seeing all the pain and guiltiness was too much to bear. So I took the cowards way out, and came running here to Forks . But someday if I meet him again I will tell him sorry I was and how much I love him.

I don't know how much time has passed, but one morning Edward comes into my room. His eyes are pained, and for moment I can't help but shudder because seeing his pained eyes makes me feel that I am looking my own eyes in a mirror. He sits besides my bed and puts his hand over mine. It's scarred, his hand is scarred; not much but now his skin is not usual flawless but now it has blemishes. I don't want blemishes on his skin because then he looks like a real person. And if see him as a regular then I don't feel the usual hate I feel looking at his perfect self.

"I heal fast and easily, not that I got much injuries to begin with, whereas you..." he turns his face away; it seems he can't bear to look at me. And for the first time I hear Edward Cullen cry. He doesn't have any tears, but I see his body shake with quite sobs and I hear his whimpers. And I can do nothing but just watch. And then I realize in that moment that I sympathize with him.

Rosalie comes and fires question and questions at me until she is taken out by Edward or Carlisle. It seems I am recovering because days by days there are less wires inserted in my body. But I what I hate and love it is Edward's tenderness, his love. I hate it because of this my hatred towards him lessen. It confuses me yet somehow saddens me. Because now he knows what it feels to lose love of someone but somehow I don't want him to go through the pain of it.

Everyone has own their own theories, why I tried to kill Edward and attempted suicide. Some theories are amusing while some downright disgusting mainly provided by Rosalie. I don't get her at all; she got the most amazing second chance. She got a new life, a person who loves her madly and a loving family, the only things I could wish or had taken away from me. If she had her human life then she would have lived with psycho abuser who would have probably killed her children. I think I should tell her this and I do tell her. And then she wears a gawking and flabbergasted look. She then storms out of my room. She doesn't come to my room now; well that's a relief to me.

Edward plays a big part in my recovery. He helps, listen to my half ass psycho rants mostly in which I blame him, shushes me during my cry fests, and helps me do my chores. Basically I am totally dependent on him and surprisingly I am neutral over this fact.

After many days, I don't feel comfortable with how he tends to me so lovingly. It would have been better if he could just shout at me, fight me, and blame me, just anything so that I don't feel this guilt. And then I ask myself have I gotten some version of Stockholm syndrome? That would totally ruin my mood.

Day by day passes and I am mostly recovered. Then I think where I would go now. Yes, Edward would be happy to let me stay here but I don't think the rest of Cullen's will like that. Bunch of hypocrites. But altogether there is another is reason, every time I look at Edward there is so much pain, love and sadness on his face and I don't like it. I should hate him but I can't. This is getting too much for me and I can't take it anymore.

"Why did you try to kill me and yourself?"

The question is asked in a very calm, serene manner. And I almost dodge the question, almost. But then I have an epiphany that I can't run anymore. I have been running away all my life maybe its became strong and face my problems like I was supposed to do. And in that I moment I decide that I won't run or takes a cowards way out. Because I am stronger than that. And I decide that in that moment I will give Edward Cullen his answer.

"I was trying to take my revenge"

"He left me because of you"

"Because you killed my love, my fiancée on my wedding day"


End file.
